to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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