Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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