I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
