It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
