If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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