I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
