I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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