Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
BRING THE BAGELS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the raccoons are back...
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