I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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