Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
