Your mouth is God's brothel.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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