ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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