she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
