He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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