I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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