So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
