butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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