On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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