Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
