it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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