he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just gargled with NyQuil
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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