dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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