Dual....:-)
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
