I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
