dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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