You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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