I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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