Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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