So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
