As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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