Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
