She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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