You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize