remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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