Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
