Can Purell be used as lube?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
