I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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