I swear she didn't look like that last week.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
