He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
