I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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