The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
