I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
