I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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