I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
