are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize