Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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