I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
