I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
