every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
