Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize