Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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