Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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