I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
