I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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