I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
