Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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