On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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