R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
