my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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