I wish I could teleport
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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