And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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