So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
